Sunday, September 16, 2012

Confessions of a Smoker

Guilt ... that should have been my middle name. If there's nothing to feel guilty about trust me .... I'll find something. When I first started smoking I felt guilty because I knew my parents wouldn't approve due to my age. But I still smoked. When I found out that I had breast cancer, did I quit ... no. I felt guilty because here I was going for chemo and trying to beat breast cancer, but I didn't quit smoking. I often would ponder about what others thought of me being a smoker. When I stood back and looked at the situation I thought I was nuts for smoking but did I quit ..... no.

Smokers keep smoking for all kinds of different reasons. For me ... I enjoyed it. There was nothing like a coffee and a smoke first thing in the morning until the hacking started. Did I quit ... nope. It was when I started throwing up in the mornings after long bouts of coughing that I finally decided to quit. I set a date, bought some Nicorette gum, struggled through the first week and made it an entire year. Then something happened and there I was once again, inhaling on the dreaded cancer stick.

A few years passed and the coughing started again .... but this time it was a lot worse. It would take at least an hour in the mornings to stop coughing. I couldn't walk up the stairs in my house without getting out of breath. I noticed every time I'd start to laugh, the laugh would turn into another hacking fest. Wishing I'd never started up again I knew it was time to quit and hopefully this time it would be for good.

That was back in June, so it's been three months if you don't count the time I slipped. My youngest son got me ticked off, and of course the first thing I think about when I stress out is to grab a smoke. It will make everything all better. Ya Right! I could only smoke half of the cigarette and it tasted God awful. This is a good thing though because now every time I think I want one I remember that horrid taste.

Since quitting I've written a few articles on smoking at HubPages. The first one was Tips to Avoid a Smoking Relapse. I wrote this in hopes that it may be helpful to other smokers that have quit countless times and feel that they're never going to be able to quit. After writing this article I thought I'd do a few more. I did have to do some research on the next two articles and I was actually a bit shocked to find out about a few of the things I never had a clue about.

In my latest article on HubPages, Does Smoking Accelerate Aging,  I discovered why I may have age spots along with a few other things. I guess when I smoked I didn't want to know about all the bad stuff that it caused. Of course I knew that smoking can cause cancer and that it is terrible for your lungs, but all this other stuff made me go hmmm, and wished I'd have listened or paid attention to all this stuff years ago. Makes me wonder how many other smokers are blind to all the unhealthy facts related to smoking.

So anyways... I'm glad I've quit. I hope I can stay a non-smoker. Let's hope that any damage I inflicted on my body can be repaired somewhat, and I pray that I didn't wait too long to quit.

If you or someone you know needs a quit smoking aid, I highly recommend the Nicorette System.






13 comments:

  1. I know...it is ridiculous all the reasons I can think of for not quitting right this minute..thanks for the encouragement...I can do it, right?

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  2. Kelly, Yes you can and you will when you're ready to. I know you can :)

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  3. Congrats Sue. I was 10 years quit and then started again with the stress of my divorce. I have quit again and been smoke-free for 3 years next month. I totally agree with you, it's those stressful moments where you're convinced that a visit with an "old friend" will ease the immediate discomfort. In fact the cigarette is not your friend, but old programming that will surely bring nothing but more frustration. My very wise doctor told me "you only have to ever quit once".

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  4. Congratulations on quitting, Susan! I quit a couple of years ago, along with my husband. It's a good feeling and you gain a lot of energy quitting. Now if I could just quit overeating altogether!

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  5. Shelley, Thanks for reading and leaving a comment. Congrats on quitting 3 years ago for the second time. I'm really determined to make this my last time to quit. To be quite honest with you though I still miss smoking and just hope that I never give in again.

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  6. Sharilee, My husband and I have quit together both times now as well. I'm loving the energy :) Next step for us is to go on a diet ... I've put on too many pounds since breaking my ankle and then quitting smoking.

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  7. Hi Susan~it's been forever since I've been on my blog. Thx for coming by and reading my twin story. I want to congratulate you on quitting smoking. From what I've read and heard from smokers, this is one of the toughest habits/addictions, to kick. I will keep positive thoughts that you stick with it. Glad to hear it grossed you out when you had a drag recently.
    My parents were both heavy smokers and so is my older sister. She's quit a million times in her life but is currently doing great on this front. I don't know if you remember but I ended up getting lung cancer and never smoked. I'm sure part of it was second hand smoke from mom and dad and all the restaurants I worked at that were smoky, as well as other toxins.It really concerned me that you wrote how bad you cough when you smoke. I just want to suggest getting an xray to make sure all is well as that's how I found out I had a spot on my lung. Prevention is key!

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  8. Hi, Susan. I quit Memorial Day weekend 4 years ago after years of smoking. I had a couple of relapses. I think that is probably quite normal. You will make it! I can tell you want to. I could tell that I was beginning to get chronic bronchitis. About that same time,a friend was put on an oxygen tank because of emphysema.That was very motivating!
    So there are health issues other than cancer related to smoking. I have never read any of your smoking cessation Hubs. (Your food is so much more interesting). I will look for them.

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  9. Congrats on finally kicking the habit. I never did pick it up and reading stories like this really makes me glad I stood up to my addicted friends and said, "no thanks!"

    I hope you feel better and better every day!

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  10. Hi Linda, I know what you mean seems like it's been forever and I'm trying to post a bit more on mine as it seems to get so neglected. Lung cancer really scares me and thanks I will done that ex-ray done soon. Take care.

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  11. Rebecca, Most people that try to quit I find have a few relapses. I remember my Dad would quit every New Years Day for years and years until finally he was successful at 65 years old. Nice to hear from you and thanks for commenting. Have a great weekend.

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  12. Terrye, You are one of the smart ones that said no. Wish I'd have done that myself. Oh well live and learn they say :)
    Thanks!

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  13. My husband used nicotine patches. He said quitting smoking was the hardest thing he ever did.

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Please feel free to leave any comments or questions you may have. Thank you so much. Susan

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