Guilt ... that should have been my middle name. If there's nothing to feel guilty about trust me .... I'll find something. When I first started smoking I felt guilty because I knew my parents wouldn't approve due to my age. But I still smoked. When I found out that I had breast cancer, did I quit ... no. I felt guilty because here I was going for chemo and trying to beat breast cancer, but I didn't quit smoking. I often would ponder about what others thought of me being a smoker. When I stood back and looked at the situation I thought I was nuts for smoking but did I quit ..... no.
Smokers keep smoking for all kinds of different reasons. For me ... I enjoyed it. There was nothing like a coffee and a smoke first thing in the morning until the hacking started. Did I quit ... nope. It was when I started throwing up in the mornings after long bouts of coughing that I finally decided to quit. I set a date, bought some Nicorette gum, struggled through the first week and made it an entire year. Then something happened and there I was once again, inhaling on the dreaded cancer stick.
A few years passed and the coughing started again .... but this time it was a lot worse. It would take at least an hour in the mornings to stop coughing. I couldn't walk up the stairs in my house without getting out of breath. I noticed every time I'd start to laugh, the laugh would turn into another hacking fest. Wishing I'd never started up again I knew it was time to quit and hopefully this time it would be for good.
That was back in June, so it's been three months if you don't count the time I slipped. My youngest son got me ticked off, and of course the first thing I think about when I stress out is to grab a smoke. It will make everything all better. Ya Right! I could only smoke half of the cigarette and it tasted God awful. This is a good thing though because now every time I think I want one I remember that horrid taste.
Since quitting I've written a few articles on smoking at HubPages. The first one was Tips to Avoid a Smoking Relapse. I wrote this in hopes that it may be helpful to other smokers that have quit countless times and feel that they're never going to be able to quit. After writing this article I thought I'd do a few more. I did have to do some research on the next two articles and I was actually a bit shocked to find out about a few of the things I never had a clue about.
In my latest article on HubPages, Does Smoking Accelerate Aging, I discovered why I may have age spots along with a few other things. I guess when I smoked I didn't want to know about all the bad stuff that it caused. Of course I knew that smoking can cause cancer and that it is terrible for your lungs, but all this other stuff made me go hmmm, and wished I'd have listened or paid attention to all this stuff years ago. Makes me wonder how many other smokers are blind to all the unhealthy facts related to smoking.
So anyways... I'm glad I've quit. I hope I can stay a non-smoker. Let's hope that any damage I inflicted on my body can be repaired somewhat, and I pray that I didn't wait too long to quit.
If you or someone you know needs a quit smoking aid, I highly recommend the Nicorette System.