Saturday, November 16, 2013

Counting My Blessings




I've had a lot of time recently to reflect on my life of 56 years. I think most people do this when they have a life threatening disease. Hell I've had the pleasure of this ... what four times now. But this time is different for me somehow.

I look back when I was diagnosed with breast cancer 23 years ago, and I was on my way with my family (twin boys 2 years old, and husband) to visit my step-sister in Ottawa the day after Christmas. I had found  a lump that had returned in my breast, and we were stopping to see my doctor in emergency to get checked out before starting our long drive. A needle biopsy was done and in a matter of 30 minutes cancer was confirmed. Returning to the car to tell my husband the sad news I looked in the back seat where the boys were happily playing in their car seats and I broke down into tears. I can remember saying out loud, "All I want is to see my boys grow up".

I feel blessed that I was able to beat cancer that time and the next time a few years later. I was granted my wish as my twins are now 25 years old. I even went on and had another son who is now almost 22 years old.

Recently I rec'd a Facebook message from my step-sister wishing me well. We had had a falling out a few years back and we've not talked since. This I'd have to say was the highlight of my week as someone needed to break the ice and Betty did. We are both pretty stubborn people and I think she saw one of my posts about my lung cancer and messaged me. I cried like a baby after reading her message and I'm so grateful that she took the plunge and messaged me.

I feel blessed that I have a mother in law that I am very close to. We have been friends since the first day I met her 27 years ago. When she heard that I was ill she booked a flight to come up and stay for a while. I'll miss her when she returns to Florida this Thursday.

About ten years ago I used to think people were nuts that would make friends online and call them friends. Boy has my mind ever changed on that front. I've met some of the nicest people ever through online writing. If it weren't for my online life right now I think I would be so down in the dumps. I can go online at any time of the day and if I need to talk to someone there is always someone here. I so appreciate all the love and support I've gotten.

One thing I've noticed though that sort of bothers me is that some of the people that I've been friends with for years have shied away from me over the last couple of months. Maybe cancer scares them off or they just don't know what to say so they choose to not say anything at all.

Most of all I feel blessed that I have such  loving, supportive, caring family and friends both online and off.

I have a list a mile long of blessings that I've been counting but I'll stop for now.

Thanks for listening to me babble on, and until next time..... Thank You All for making my life such a wonderful place to be. Have an awesome weekend everyone.
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