Friday, June 13, 2014

Depression and Ten Things of Thankful

"Light At End Of Tunnel" by lkunl via

Hi Everyone,

 I know I’d posted that I’d let everyone know where I've been for most of March, April, and May. I woke up one day in March a few days after a chemo treatment feeling anxious (this was new to me), and not feeling comfortable being alone. I was also feeling very depressed about life in general. To make a long story shorter the steroid that I take for anti-nausea called Dexamethasone can cause anxiety and depression. The day before I get my chemo treatment I start on this drug twice a day and continue taking it the day of, and the day after chemo.  It gives you a euphoric feeling and then bam, it brings you down a few days after stopping it. So now I’m on an anti-depressant and Abilify to counter act the Dexamethasone.


Now that I've gotten that out of the way …. I am so happy, and thankful to be back writing or trying to write again. I had no interest in even opening my computer up let alone posting anything. I did force myself but usually I only did so to play Bejeweled, or Texas HoldEm Poker.   

I am thankful for my latest CAT scan results. The tumors are still shrinking! You can read all about it here if you like.

Thankful that I have a son that not only knows how to make coffee, but has been getting up earlier than me lately and making it. There’s nothing quite like coming downstairs to the aroma of fresh brewed coffee that I didn’t have to make. It always tastes better when someone else makes it too.

About two weeks ago I woke up one morning and wanted to get out of bed. This had not been the case in so long. I think I knew that’s when I finally had hit a turning point. I’m not quite back to springing out of bed at 5 am, but I did get up at 6 to start writing this.

So very thankful that I have a hubby that stands beside me no matter what happens. In sickness and, in health ….. This man has been through so much with me over the years. I think he deserves an award. This Sunday is not only Father’s Day but his birthday and my twin sons birthdays. My only hope is that he takes the day off and gets to relax a bit.

Through all of this I tried to keep up with Scrabble and Words With Friends. I forced myself to play even though I did lose more often than what I used to. I’m thankful to all the people that I play these games with even if you did beat me.

I’m thankful that I've gotten my appetite back except there’s one little problem,  and that’s that I've gained weight. Back onto the lower carb diet I go, soon :)

The weather has been gorgeous and I’m so thankful that all the snow melted. There was doubt in my mind as I pictured going through this entire spring never seeing that horrible white stuff disappear.

Thankful that it is time for my mother in law to come for a visit, as a lot of you know we are pretty good friends. She arrived in Toronto on Thursday night and will be at my house on Sunday.

Once again I have to say thank you to my online friends that kept sending me messages of concern during my lost in space time. You guys mean the world to me. 

I've learned that no matter what life brings there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. 

Check out all the other TToT posts by visiting the following links and Happy Father's Day to all you Dad's out there!

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Please feel free to leave any comments or questions you may have. Thank you so much. Susan

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